And that is why Tom and I will never divorce

I’m sure our parents will be oh-so-thrilled to hear that.

A does not do well with change. At.All. It’s better than it used to be, but still ain’t all that great. When he was a wee thing, getting him out the door, even to do something fun that he wanted to do, was an experience that had me desperately needing a drink. At 9:30 in the morning. Dropping him off at preschool often involved the teacher (God, I love that woman) reaching into the car, prying his fingers off the carseat, and carrying him inside. She’s the awesomewonderfulamazing woman who had a “cozy cove” in her classroom for kids who had trouble with transitions. A spent a lot of time in there, because he knew when he needed to get back in sync during transitions.

When we were at Disney World a few weeks ago, the original plan was to go back to the hotel after lunch for a break, some rest, maybe a dip in the pool. Then I read in a book that kids who have difficulty with transitions really shouldn’t do that, for obvious reasons. Well.Duh. Just as he would have been getting into the swing of the parks, we would have insisted we leave (meltdown), then we would have insisted on leaving the pool just as he was getting into the swing of that (meltdown #2). We stayed at the parks and when we could, went back to the hotel early to swim.

He is better, but change sucks for him.

Last night Tom and I cleaned up the basement. I took my six foot scrapbooking table and made it the Lego table. Six feet of building goodness! I took the old, smaller Lego table and put it in my scrapbooking room. And made myself an office. With a door. And a lock. And out of the corner of the kitchen (truly for the best. I’m out of traffic, and that corner is so much nicer not covered in my office crap).

A about lost his shit this morning when he found out. Never mind that the new Lego table is half again as big. Never mind that he can find all the Legos. Never mind that the new table can also be jimmy-rigged to be a fort. There.Was.Change.

Sigh.

I finally had to tell him that this was an experiment for the summer (’cause I had to get my hot self out of the hot kitchen with the hot laptop) and we’d reevaluate in the fall. I’m pretty confident he’ll bring it up on the first day of school.

And that, dear reader, is why my husband and I will never, ever divorce. Oh, and the whole vow thing. That too. 😉

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6 Responses

  1. Very funny. Poor kid. As a spec ed teacher, I see this kind of thing every day, so I appreciate what you’re going through. Good luck!

    P.S. Linking to you in my FF today!

  2. there’s nothing like dragging a kicking, screaming child into school that makes you want to drink. 🙂 i totally relate–I’d be afraid to take my kids to disney world b/c of all the newness and transitions.

  3. Dare I say, it appears, through my observations and life experience that the “opposed to change” piece of the ADHD personality mellows sometime around age 17. Note, I did not say magically disappears or is “so much better” – but it has mellowed.

    I know the ADHD literature rarely mentions this personality trait, but I have talked to so many people who have noticed this commonality that I’m inclined to believe that it is just that.

  4. I read somewhere early on that if I ever wanted to move furniture in the house, I should do it while my SPD/ADHD kid was WATCHING. I took it to heart, and now he observes every little change I make to the environment. I’ve had no meltdowns regarding that.

  5. Fortunately, that is not a problem we have. Actually, it’s the opposite. When things stay the same too long, all of the men in this house get antsy. Drives me batty.

  6. Hoo Boy… My son has change aversion. It’s gotten better as he’s gotten older (he’s 13), but we still have rough days. We still do a lot of talking about things beforehand, which was and still is tiring, but if I forget, it is a million times worse for all involved. He does not like to be out of his comfort zone. As he’s gotten older he’s learned coping skills, so I think that helps ease some of the chaos he experiences with change. I’m hoping it will improve even more, the older he gets. I don’t want him living at home when he’s 30, because he’s afraid of the change around the corner, LOL.

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